The other night as I was headed to the bathroom/closet in our room to get ready for bed I had to step over Adalyn's dress-ups, Jensen's carseat, blankets, burp cloths, play dishes, baby dolls, books, the pile of bills/paperwork, and the pillows from our bed (thankfully I was not injured in this process even though I was half awake). McKay was in bed rocking Jensen who was begging for me to come feed him and Adalyn was fussing in her bed even though she had gone to bed hours ago (she likes to wake up randomly and cry). I sarcastically smiled at McKay and said "livin the dream" then closed the door for a few minutes of privacy/break time to change my clothes.
But then it hit me... I really am living my dream.
I am truly blessed
If you had asked me 5-10 years ago what my greatest dream and desire was, I would have told you exactly the life that I lead. Sweet husband who would do ANYTHING for me and sacrifices daily on my behalf. Who is a great daddy to our two healthy and happy children. Oh how wise I used to be. :)
Some days are hard. Some days the human in me takes over and I wish that I could be anywhere but at my sink doing the dishes and cleaning up spaghetti off the floor. Some days I am mentally and emotionally depressed and I wish that I could just get out of the house by myself and do something for me. Some days I am selfish and impatient.
The days that I usually have these feelings are when I have been paying too much attention to what the world thinks of me/mothers. When I have lost the "vision" of what is truly important.
I still do not fully grasp the entirety of my sacred calling in life, the WHOLE reason why I am here. But I will learn slowly as I humble myself and take care of my little children because it is through them and the service that I do on their behalf that I will be able to get to know my savior.
So today I am very grateful and honored to be their mother.
*Click here for some inspiring quotes and thoughts on motherhood and why it is such a sacred and beautiful responsibility for all women. * Have a great day!
I tell Justin this same thing. When we were dating, first married, and especially now with Baby B, I always way that I have exactly the life I wanted. He looks at me funny because I had just been complaining about how tired I am or that I feel like I can't give her enough attention even though I'm trying 24/7. I always knew I'd end up a mom but actually having it be a reality is the greatest feeling! Thanks for posting this!!! I definitely look up to you, you're doing an amazing job!
ReplyDeleteI LOVED this post Kajsa! Thanks for sharing! It makes me excited to one day have a family and my own little troop of kids. :) Then your kids will have cousins to play with!
ReplyDeleteLoved this post and your honesty about feelings we all feel occasionally. Glad to be blessed with living the dream of motherhood :)
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